I watch him raising his hand over and over. Volunteering to summarize the story, to answer my questions, to comment, to disagree, to back another student up, to protest to what I assigned to them. I watch him and my case study on his childhood experiences flash by my eyes. I remember how jealous I was when observing him in his bio class, where he was comfortable and present. Trying hard not to cry in the middle of the class, I have to ask him to say it again. I cannot simultaneously think and listen in English yet. The only thing I want to tell him is "Welcome back to class. You have no idea how happy you made me." But I am a teacher. I listen, I nod, I rephrase his answer, and ask for more comments from other students. 

If I was allowed, I'd put "earning Mi, Chr, Em, and, Sa, and Mo's participation" as the objective of the day on my lesson plan everyday. I'd put "How can I cheer up these bored-to-death faces?" in the essential questions of every single day. 

Today I earned Mi and Em.
I even watched Sa sitting straight and saying "This is gonna be fuunnnn." It didn't last more than 5 minutes though. 

But I've learned that you have to be grateful for each single minute of each single student's attention.

One day, when staring at their bored faces for 3 hours has drained my energy, when nothing I have done has made them even listen to me,  when I'm doubting myself and feeling so disqualified as a teacher, I'll remember today and I'll keep going.